Lil Dicky's AKA's: A Power Ranking
Sup, y'all? It's Jakob again - AKA Ranch Dressing. Been a few days since I've published anything, but no worries, I'm back up in this bitch.
As you know, or you should by know, I'm a pretty big fan of Lil' Dicky's work. Eh, let's call it art. And if you live under a rock, and really don't know, he's making huge.. I mean HUGE moves in the rap industry.
A few weeks back, I posted about our fearless leader making the cut on XXL's Freshman Class. As the most ordinary white dude on the planet, that's a pretty big deal. On top of that, he signed with Scooter Braun yesterday. You know, the biebz agent. Needless to say, Dicky is making a name for himself. Or, in regards to this fire column, many names.
Because of all of this news surrounding our favorite rapper, I thought it would be appropriate to enlighten the internet on just how funny (and talented) our boy LD really is. What you're about to see sets the young, Jewish, hip hop entrepreneur apart from everyone else in his field. You know how most rappers have a ridiculous nickname that we must suffer through hearing at the beginning of the song? Similar situation here, except LD creates new, whiter than ever, aliases for himself for every song that he produces. It's hilarious and captivating, but most importantly... it's relatable.
By no means is this a Power Ranking for my favorite songs by the man (but that column is coming soon). It is simply a breakdown of what I believe (and I'm usually right) to be the funniest nicknames that he has bestowed upon himself throughout his career. The videos are hilarious, too.
Lil' Dicky's AKA's: A Power Ranking
10. Lil Dicky, AKA the "Independent Variable" ($ave Dat Money)
9. Lil Dicky AKA "The Priceline Negotiator" (First Tour Show)
Unfortunately, The Priceline Negotiator wasn't exactly used in a music video, instead during the introduction of LD at his first show on his first tour. Dicky opened up his set with a Powerpoint slideshow that discussed how much fun they were going to have throughout the night. He then went on to explain that he has a business background, hence why everyone calls him "Lil Dicky AKA the Priceline Negotiator." He went on to accuse the crowd of bullying him - which doesn't really relate here, but it just enhances his self-depricating humor.
8. Lil Dicky AKA "Firm Handshake" (Lion King)
7. Lil Dicky AKA "Young Professional" (Workaholics)
6. Lil Dicky AKA "Chipotle Aitoi" (Beef)
5. Lil Dicky AKA "The Urologist" (Free Bread at the Outback)
4. Lil Dicky AKA "Truffle Fry Guy" (YouTube Q&A)
3. Lil Dicky AKA "Sweet Baby Ray, Founder of the Sauce" (Spring Tour Announcement)
2. Lil Dicky AKA "White Jesus" (The 90s)
1. Lil Dicky AKA "Mr. Leftward Sloping Penis" (Ex-Boyfriend)
In all honesty, if I wasn't supposed to be working instead of writing right now, this list would be much longer. Sadly, I only had enough fake-free-time to knock out 10. However, there's plenty more where this came from, including my honorable mention list:
AKA Young Dick
AKA Whatever
AKA The Long-Winded-Answer
AKA The Original Pancake
AKA The Time-Travellers Wife
If you would like to see more, head over to this Reddit Thread, where a user probably took a few Adderall to the dome before compiling this huge list of Lil Dicky AKAs.
