I Fell Asleep At A Bar at 10pm and My Life Has Changed Forever

Some days, you just feel great about yourself. Some days, you think you have it all figured out. Other days, your life goes from 100-0 in approximately 30 minutes and you wake up in a hotel with all of your clothes on completely unaware of anything that happened previously. Today is one of those days for me. Although a very, very terrible day is upon me - I must confess, this story is nothing short of incredible.

Saturday, July 2nd 2016 - The day I fell asleep (completely asleep) at a bar by 10:00pm.

It's true. It actually happened to me. Now this is not an uncommon sight to see at your local downtown dive bar - I've actually witnessed it multiple times. But have I ever been that person? Have I ever been so intoxicated that I actually shut my eyes to engage in a drunken power nap while in public? No I haven't. Not until last night, at least.

But now, as I turn the page to begin a new chapter in my life as an individual who can never show his face in the Tin Roof again, I'm forced to make a decision that I never EVER wanted to make. I truly never saw the end of what has been a magnificent relationship - lasting for the better part of 5 years. But, sometimes you have to know when to hang it up.

Tuesday, July 5th 2016 - I am officially announcing that I, *anonymous*, am hereby ending my relationship with tequila.

What can I say? I have no other choice in the matter. When you are 23 and 5 shots of PePe Lopez sends you spiraling into a slumber nearly 3 hours earlier than you've gone to sleep in 5 years - you may understand.

To my parents, I'm sorry. I know you probably never knew of this relationship with this sweet Mexican nectar. But you will never have to.

To those who always told me not to buy that round of shots, I should have listened. I should have trusted you that it would ultimately end this way.

The sad truth is that it's an uphill battle from here. The next few days/weeks/months will be spent swallowing my pride, putting aside my ego and avoiding any blenders that may somehow produce margaritas while in my presence.

Where do I go from here? That answer has yet to be determined. One thing I do know, however, is that I can count on the guidance of Mr. Jack Daniels to get me there.

Until then...