5 Big Questions Regarding the Golf Course Alligator
Well, today is June 1st. Which not only means that 2016 as we know it is absolutely flying by, but also that we should go ahead and start preparing for the temperature to break 100 degrees by 8am. Although the heat is rough, one of the most exciting things about summer is that I have enough extra daylight to get a round of golf in after work. Golf, if played for enjoyment and not competition, can be one of the calm, cool and collected games on this earth. Unless, of course, a 15 foot alligator decides to walk across the fairway that you're hitting (trying to hit) onto. In this case, I'm sure you probably see your life flash right in front of your eyes.
Here's the video via YouTube:
As someone who truly enjoys golf, but is not fond of death by animal torture, this would truly be a mortifying experience for me. However, because I have the luxury (safety) of watching it via the internet, it merely poses a few very important questions:
1. Are there tons of these monsters wandering around in the deep south?
If so, this is not okay. I mean, I understand that it is a wild animal and that not all wild animals must be in captivity. But, geez! This is a Nile River/Biblical Time/Man Eating/16 Foot/Bigger than JAWS Alligator. There's no reason these things should just be wandering around the continental United States. And it's ESPECIALLY frustrating that it's on a golf course. I understand there is ponds/lakes on golf courses that would seem attractive to animals of this nature, but if they're just roaming, what's stopping them from hitting up the local Kroger, or crossing the interstate? Do we, as Americans, just stop what we're doing and let it do it's thing? Truly horrifying.
2. Did this Gator pay the greens fee?
This might be the most important question in this piece. The course is in Southwestern Florida. Right outside of Tampa, to be exact. So you know this is expensive. If I have to pay the fee to walk around on the course, fall (throw my clubs in) the water, and just cruise up by the bunkers and on to the greens, I don't see any good reason why this creature shouldn't either. Discrimination by fear. Yea!
3. Where's the cart path, bro?
Again, we're talking about SW Florida here. It rains down there like every day. It has to be pretty common to see "Cart Path Only" displayed everywhere on the course. You also have to believe that this guy weighs something similar to a golf cart (if there's not one already residing in its stomach). No way that's acceptable to put that much weight on the ground that close to the green.
4. Why is nobody doing anything except videoing?
I totally understand that this animal isn't doing anything harmful...yet. No reason to go and kill it just for wandering around a golf course that probably has a neighborhood entwined with it. But, because of the whole neighborhood/human interaction part of that, I feel like it may be necessary to atleast rid the surrounding area of the largest alligator to possibly ever walk the face of the earth. I mean, this is some horrendous stuff, man.
5. Is this actually real? Or is it a joke?
I'm genuinely terrified by the idea that there are animals of this nature that can just freely roam around. And this thing is HUGE. Not even an ordinary sized gator. It's the Ted Cruz of the Alligator species, just so far to the end of the spectrum. You have to assume that this is either:
A) 2 guys in an alligator suit - like the gentleman in the video stated
OR
B) A human built machine that will be cast in an upcoming movie involving Selena Gomez trapped on a golf course fleeing for her life from the biggest and baddest Gator in the history of the world.
Either way, you can bet on the fact that I will not be attending Buffalo Creek Golf Club for the entirety of my life.
